Blow me Barack Obama is snooping me on LinkedIn

Blow me. Barack Obama is [maybe McCain] snooping me on LinkedIn. Proof. As posted on Twitpic.

So I was just checking who's been snooping me on LinkedIn and only the President of the United States of the America turned up in my snoop list, right under the right dishonourable McCain oven chip. Time to upgrade to LinkedIn premium to get to the real truth? Not likely. Apparently I'm just one connection away from being BO's best buddy. White House here I come.

Putting glorious spam in the spotlight

Is Eric Cantona the king of spam?

It’s been a wee wee time since my last post. I’ve been up to stuff. Stuff that means I'm checking my mail like a seagull relentlessly chasing a trawler looking for a tasty tit-bit, and I realized I that I seem to be getting inundated with the old spam.

I’ve come across a whole lotta spam spam glorious spam and it just keeps coming all day and all night long. Without usually giving spam the time of day I tend to just hit the delete button and blast it from the spam folder straight in to eternal spam hell. Hurray, no spam here! I don’t need that Viagra stuff, dating tips, handy advice for the bedroom stuff, another worthless degree, and I really don’t want a cheap Rolex at any price. Well that’s what I thought until I noticed that some of that spam stuff is pure gold. I thought, long and hard, and I started to see the wood for the trees, and realized that I should be putting some of the inglorious spammer bastards sh*t in the spotlight. So I have been collecting (preserving / dry curing etc) some choice cuts of fine spam.

Sure we can live without Mr Spam’s pestilence but lest we forget his/her relentless and occasionally truly creative efforts. Sure enough most of his/her work is worthless junk but you just have to confess that some of that stuff is award winning puerile genius, and some of it is really quite weird, a bit like the idea of cramming a dead pig in to a tin can, and certainly as mad as Eric Cantona.

Anyway below are a few recent unforgettable (subject) lines - the all new hall of fame for spam if you will. I’ll keep this up to date for as long time as I can keep it up or until the spam river runs dry. Thinking about it, Mr and Mrs Spam of Spamalottaville must be having a totally spamtastic time, generally rolling about laughing, writing loads of spam and creating occasional priceless porkers. You’re not exactly up for the Booker Prize but I’m a fan. Write again soon Eric.

Preserved spam: the spam hall of fame

21.08.09 ---> Gain the full control over your drilling machine

22.08.09 ---> In a Sieve we'll go to sea

22.08.09 ---> Get the longest banana

23.08.09 ---> Support your custard launcher

24.08.09 ---> Be a love rhino

24.08.09 ---> Oxford brain-test

25.08.09 ---> He found a crooked sixpence against a crooked stile

26.08.09 ---> Put your cork in every girl that your dream of!

27.08.09 ---> From now you don't need a crane to raise your instrument up

28.08.09 ---> Viagra Soft Tabs

01.09.09 ---> Maniac cut Hefner's balls

02.09.09 ---> Join online massacre

03.09.09 ---> Want 3D-slaves?

04.09.09 ---> And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace

And I thought the spam river had really run dry... Until --->

02.10.09 ---> Mate like Clinton!

Just nuts: mental brilliant bike tricks and crazy horse ideas

Feeling too sick today from mustard and coffee OD and squash court burns but this put a smile on my sorry face. Check out these mental brilliant bike tricks. Danny MacAskill the mentalist on the bike unsuprisingly says "You don't try to drop off 13ft railings right away, you develop a technique. At a certain height, the landing will be heavy, so you just try to hang on." No shit Sherlock. From Wired.

Ohh and in case you missed it - wizzing past at 110mph - check out the one horse power car ---> thanks to @DeleteLondon / Guardian. Now that's a genuinely stupid idea. Completely riddiculous.

Suddenly there is no need for a normality restore button. OMG and I just saw eight UFO's flying in formation - in the sky.